Somehow, even after downing a large butterscotch dipped DQ vanilla ice cream cone, I managed to shed 2/10th of a pound and 0.1% body fat. I attribute this to the weight/load bearing exercises building back atrophied muscle groups and those bigger muscles sucking up extra sugar before it can be converted to fat. Of course, I might have lost more had I skipped the ice cream, but you gotta live once and awhile. At least that’s what my good friend Drinkie keeps telling me.
Zero ; Lucky ; M: 117 ; C: 80 ; P/U: 50 ; W : 5 mi
Health R.O.S.
- Weight: 208.4
- BMI: 28.2
- Fat %: 21.5
I’m Feeling Lucky
Yesterday, I hit a ‘Lucky’ despite craving a cold IPA all the day. This is likely the result of a ‘mental hangover’ from the previous evening that gave Drinkie (the alcoholic voice in the back of my mind) an opening to harass me.
You see, we spent last night socializing with some friends with whom we’ve previously shared copious amounts of alcoholic beverages. But last night I stuck with water. When asked why I didn’t want my usual beer, I blamed my adherence to the Plant Paradox diet. This is not entirely untrue, but, you know, explaining the whole gray area drinking, sober curious thing is, well, not something you do with your ‘drinking buddies’.
I wonder if the FOMO (fear of missing out) last night may have contributed to Drinkie speaking up today.
Drinkie Seizes His Opportunity
I’m a man on a mission and would really like to achieve my first “Twice Lucky” – that’s 14 consecutive days without alcohol. This aspiration is a strong motivator for me. But the concern I have is this: Drinkie, the alcoholic voice in the back of my mind, is constantly looking for an opportunity to get drunk.
Drinkie doesn’t seem to mind getting spurned. He’s immune to rejection. He’s like that pushy salesman with his persistent bulletproof follow-up.
I say, “Sorry, Drinkie, there’s no beer for another seven days because I want to hit a Twice Lucky.”
He replies, “No problem! Does that mean we can knock back a few next Sunday and watch football all day? Let’s make a drunken date.”
Sadly, my initial subconscious reply is, “That sounds great! Let’s do it!”
But then, my mindfulness kicks in and I RAIN on Drinkie’s parade.
RAINing on Drinkie’s Sad Little Parade
Unfortunately for poor Drinkie (and fortunately for me), my mindfulness practice teaches me to identify thoughts and emotions (and that’s all Drinkie is), create space between myself and the thought (in this case a craving), examine why I’m experiencing this thought or emotion, and dismiss it.
During these moments, I’m able to bring what would normally be automatic habitual urges into my conscious mind and label them for what they are. Once identified and labeled, I’m able to RAIN all over them.
“Hello, Drinkie! Clever boy, you almost got me. Nice try. Better luck next time.”
And with Drinkie, there’s always a next time.
Smokie is Smothered
Unlike the Drinkie’s sometimes dogged persistence, Smokie (my pet name for the desire to smoke marijuana) is quickly smothered and extinguished. For example, yesterday I had the thought to smoke a little weed. But with a quick RAIN exercise, the urge to take a bong ripper went up in smoke (pun intended).
Smokie is here one second and dismissed the next. I don’t yet understand why Smokie is so easily chased off, maybe it’s because he’s so stoned he lacks Drinkie’s determination. That’s probably not it, but a funny thought nonetheless.
It’s obvious to me now that alcohol addiction and marijuana addiction manifest themselves differently in my body and psyche. I suppose this has a lot to do with the presumed physical component of alcohol addiction. But the jury is still out on that.
I’m no scientist (or doctor, therapist, addiction specialist, etc). I’m just an ordinary guy trying to work this out for myself. Is there a middle way between total abstinence and alcoholism for those with borderline alcohol use disorders like me? That remains to be seen.
Today, I’ll attempt to keep Drinkie at bay as I press on to an Octet in the face of a full day of football.
The Buddha’s message was simple but profound. Neither a life of self-indulgence nor one of self-mortification can bring happiness. Only a middle path, avoiding these two extremes, leads to peace of mind, wisdom, & complete liberation from the dissatisfactions of life.
– Henepola Gunaratana
