I’ve decided to skip the weigh-in this morning since I really went off the rails last night. Truly a crushing car crash, train derailment, plane careening from the sky… My body should be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the famine is over. And just in time for the Plant Paradox 3-day Cleanse! I’ll resume the weigh ins tomorrow morning. Ouch! What a setback.
1 (7) ; None ; M: 88 ; C: 51 ; P/U: 50 ; W : 4 miles
Health R.O.S.
- Weight: skipped
- BMI: skipped
- Fat %: skipped
Having broken down and purchased a six pack of IPA last night, I proceeded to plow through all of it in a few short hours. Upon running out of beer, and not feeling buzzed enough, I made the genius decision to toss back a rather generous glass of Pinot Noir for good measure.
Worth noting was that I waged a fierce battle with the notion of drinking the wine for a good thirty minutes before finally breaking down and submitting. Wine not being my drink of choice, it really is a loss. The drinks decided to have a drink.
Crushing My Sleep Quality
As you might imagine, my sleep quality was pummeled. I tossed and turned all night until finally drag-assing out of bed at 4:30 am having given up on the idea of sleep entirely. My resulting emotional state this morning is not the best. I’m tired, unfocused, and distracted. Luckily, I’m not hungover, but I’m deeply steeped in brain fog.
Reflecting back on the experience, I can best describe my evening as wasted (in every sense) and empty. In fact, this crushing feeling of emptiness was most profound this morning in the hours leading up to sunrise. I just felt hollowed out as I lay there in the predawn hours.
Sense of Wellbeing Sapped
The sense of wellbeing that grew in me over the past 12 days feels diminished. I feel that I’ve lost valuable progress. Especially in the sense that the ‘reward’ I was hoping for – that euphoric high – never materialized. My reward is waking up; beaten down.
However, all is not lost. I take a very valuable lesson away from this misadventure. The lesson is this: Emptiness is not what I seek, but that’s precisely was an evening of drinking alone provides. Crushing emptiness…
Thus, I endeavor to commit myself to positive and productive fulfillment for the balance of the month of September (27 days) and potentially beyond.
I have come to the conclusion that a contemplative and sober life yields far greater rewards than one of inebriation and distraction.
Today, I reset the clock and delve deeper into my own inner nature.
First, you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
