Slight downward correction across all metrics. Hopefully, my two days of gluttony and alcohol obsession inspired binge drinking fooled my body into dropping some poundage. It would be nice if my binge drinking counted for something other than a lost evening. We’ll see if the theory proves itself out over the next several days.
Zero ; Single ; M: 89 ; C: 52 ; P/U: 50 ; W : 4 miles
Health R.O.S.
- Weight: 218.9
- BMI: 29.6
- Fat %: 22.8
Last night I finished Happiness by Matthieu Ricard. His book is chock full of incredible wisdom and spiritual guidance. I particularly loved this quote due to its particular relevance at this waypoint on my sobriety journey.
The victim of obsession stubbornly seeks relief in the very situations that torment him… Once we grow used to certain desires, we become dependent on them – we continue to feel the need to satisfy them even after we step enjoying the feeling they give us. We reach the point of wanting without liking.
– Matthieu Ricard, Happiness
These words ring true in light of my binge drinking episode two nights ago. There was much desire, bordering on obsession, but zero liking. Zero enjoyment. In fact, quite the opposite – not liking and a feeling of emptiness.
Yet, despite consciously knowing this, somehow this obsession with alcohol still persists. But why not for cannabis? How am I free of that?
Alcohol Obsession Not Cannabis
As I’ve written several times before, after smoking weed pretty much daily for over two decades, following 35 days of meditation, I stopped cold turkey. And, I’ve hardly thought about it since. If you had asked me six months ago which vice I would have preferred to give up or cut down on, drinking alcohol would have been the obvious choice. I never considered giving up weed, but luckily, it gave me up. No questions asked.
The only thing regarding this obsession with alcohol, that little voice in the back of my mind, that seems to make sense is that it may be more physically addictive. Unfortunately, I can’t find much research to back up this assertion, but how can meditation just ‘switch off’ pot, but not alcohol? I don’t have a little weed voice plotting and calendaring a bong fest, but the alcohol voice is annoyingly persistent.
Meditation & Addiction
It is worth noting that while alcohol remains a pernicious influence, meditation is helping me grapple with it. While my sobriety record is far from perfect, meditation has resulted in a marked reduction in my alcohol consumption.
I’ve drank excessively only 2 in the past 28 days and had 1.5 – 3 beers on three other occasions. That’s five total times in 28 days or roughly once a week. Back in June, it would have easily been 20 of 28 days and marijuana 28 of 28 days. And most, if not all, of those days would have been excessive.
Progress, no matter how small is still progress. And I aspire to continue to improve on this as I forge ahead on my sobriety journey.
Today will be a Deuce. Since I’m committed to reintroducing Zero+ (no sugar) days, I expect to kill off sugar and alcohol loving bacteria in my gut’s microbiome. My expectation is that as this ‘bad guys’ as Doctor Gundry calls them, are eliminated cravings should diminish proportionately. Is this where that alcoholic voice is coming from – gut bacteria? Well, let’s try and find out.
