Instead of euphoria, I found a spiraling use disorder. Covid 19 lockdowns added fuel to the fire. What had been a daily pot and a few times a week alcohol habit, became a nearly daily binge of both. I only took days off if the brutality of the hangover demanded it.
As drinking alcohol took primary focus on the days I was imbibing, it began to supercede eating dinner. I would crack a beer open as I was walking in the garage. It was the first thing I did after parking the car in the driveway! Soon I’d be 3-5 beers in and realized I forgot to eat.
The challenge for me in staying sober is revealing itself as a ‘time of day’ thing. In other words, I’m most inclined to drink alcoholic beverages between 4pm and 8pm. I’m finding that if I can survive this window, I’ll have a successful outcome.
I have to admit, driving past that liquor store on the days I go into the office can be quite tempting. They have a fine selection of ice cold IPAs in nice big pint cans. Four packs and six packs. All lined up and waiting to be drank.
Despite the meditation taking the edge off, I needed a distraction. Something to think about other than drinking. Looking around the family room, I saw our long neglected Wii sitting off to the side of the tv.