I’m 97 days without smoking pot, eating it, or otherwise consuming it. This is in spite of having ample opportunity to do so either because it was offered to me or due to my close proximity to many marijuana dispensaries. As I’ve written many times before, I never planned to quit smoking pot. In fact, my pot addiction was simply collateral damage. It was the hapless victim of a little over a month of daily mindfulness meditation targeting my alcohol use. I should have instead titled this blog entry: How Meditation Used Me To Overcome Pot Addiction.
Zero+ ; Niner ; M: 134 ; C: 97 ; P/U: Rest ; W : 4 mi
Health R.O.S.
- Weight: 205.8
- BMI: 27.8
- Fat %: 21.2
Meditation Axes Pot Addiction
Somewhere just over a month into my daily meditation practice, I simply didn’t want to smoke pot any more. I like to say that my pot addiction quit me. And now here I am at almost 100 days without any marijuana, weed, pot, cannabis, mary jane, whatsoever. Though a few months ago, I never could have imagined it. It’s a fantastic feeling!
On top of being liberated from the pot addiction monkey riding on my back, I’ve gone from drinking 5+ nights a week to maybe twice a month. And when I drink, I have 2-3 beers instead of 5-9+.
I am feeling pretty good about my progress to date, but I see ample opportunity to improve further. I have meditation to thank for where I presently find myself. It is my daily meditation that dislodged and replaced marijuana use. Meditation filled a vacuum in my life that I was trying and failing to fill with weed.
Marijuana was the easiest vice I’ve ever had to quit, because I didn’t quit it. It quit me. What I’ve learned through this process is that meditation is also giving me the tools to redefine my broken relationship with alcohol. I’ve also learned, at least in my personal experience, alcohol doesn’t want to give up on me quite as easily as pot did.
A Middle Way With Alcohol?
I don’t see a middle way with marijuana. It’s not like you can get ‘kinda high’. You’re either high or you’re not. There is no middle. This is not true with alcohol. You can have a couple of drinks and not get drunk. The trick is, of course, stopping at a couple of drinks.
At this point, my idea of sobriety is more akin to being sober curious and getting control over my gray area drinking. This will be a lot different from the standard definition of sobriety you will encounter in an AA program that demands total abstinence. I get that some people need that. Believe me. I grew up in an alcoholic household. Alcoholics Anonymous really works if you follow the program. I’ve seen that firsthand.
While some may not agree with my definitions or approach, that’s okay. Addiction is not a one size fits all kinda deal. You need to find what works for you. For me, it’s daily meditation and ongoing moderation. Except with my pot addiction, in which case I subscribe to total abstinence.
In order to fulfill my own personal definition of sobriety, I need to find the middle way. I may drink a few beers but will NEVER drink to get drunk. I will never use alcohol to deal with personal or emotional issues. And lastly, I will NEVER use pot.
To this end, I never buy more than a six pack of beer at a time. This enforces an absolute limit. Six beers simply isn’t enough to get me anywhere close to drunk. I never buy beer if the reason to do so is emotional. This is not a perfect strategy by any stretch, but it works for now.
Also, I will not have a fully stocked beer fridge like I used to. I’m not yet at the point in my sobriety journey where I feel comfortable having all that beer around. Maybe someday, but not yet. Strangely, if I had a locker full of pot, it wouldn’t tempt me at all. That’s how I know I’m completely over it.
Since I’ve only drank once in the past 25 days, I feel that this approach may be working for me. Granted, I drank a six pack that evening, it was a far cry from my hedonistic habits of six months ago. I did not get drunk. And I was not drinking because I had a bad day or was dealing with emotional baggage.
Perfect? No. But then again, I’m not searching for perfection, I’m searching for compromise.
Is this the middle way?
