Over the past few years, I would reflect on my lost creativity. I often wondered where the hell it disappeared to. When I think of the times I was happiest, truly in my happy place, it was when I was creating. I falsely believed that alcohol and marijuana would somehow unleash my creativity. Sadly, this false belief drove much of my drinking and drugging over the past twenty years.
It seems like common sense that when we drink less alcohol we are consuming fewer calories and making better choices. But why is something that is so easy to conceptualize so difficult in practice?
Over the long years, I have associated drinking alcohol with relaxation and the pleasure of drunken dopamine. Now I increasingly see my alcohol and marijuana cravings as gateways to sleep deprivation, hangovers, gastro intestinal issues, weight gain, bloating, brain fog, and general unpleasantness.
Since I had never refused to take a hit of pot before (pretty much ever), I hadn’t noticed the Pavlovian reaction in social situations. Pulling bong hits was something altogether different. Shit, I had gone and classically conditioned myself!
I still spend a lot of time reflecting on the phenomenon of marijuana quitting me rather than the other way around. Well, it goes without saying that it’s a hell of a lot easier to quit a bad habit if it quits you first!