A recipe is a series of defined steps you follow in order to make something. It’s a set of instructions. The closer you follow the instructions, the closer the final product look like the photo in your cookbook. Sure, that’s all well and good if you’re baking a cake, but is there a recipe for sobriety?
Anyone in recovery knows that isolation is the biggest enemy.
– Ivan Moody
Well, the answer to that question is a profound and nuanced YES, but…
Just as there is no single way to make brownies, there is no single recipe for getting sober. I wish there were. That would make things a hell of a lot easier for everyone involved. But, unfortunately, it just isn’t so.
In this blog we’ll examine the various takes on a recipe for sobriety. We’ll focus on some of the most tried and true to a few that are a bit newer and unconventional. The sobriety recipe that works for you may be any one or some combination of these. Just like with cooking, it’s worth trying out the most appealing recipes first and making adjustments from there to adjust for taste.
The Original Recipe For Sobriety: Alcoholics Anonymous
In 1935, Bill Wilson and Robert Smith (aka Dr. Bob), both alcoholics at the time, got together and cooked up what would become the most well known and widely adopted recipe for sobriety over the past 85+ years. They are quite literally the KFC of sobriety!
In those days (and for centuries prior) alcoholism and addiction where considered moral failings. The medical establishment lacked tools to treat these diseases, and those suffering from addiction were largely left to deal with it on their own or through religious means (designed to ‘treat’ their moral failings).
Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob acknowledged that any existing recipe for sobriety was ill equipped to treat the disease, much less the patient. So they established what would eventually become known as Alcoholics Anonymous.
Their recipe consisted of 12 steps:
- Honesty – We admit we are powerless over alcohol
- Faith – Believe a power greater than ourselves will restore us
- Surrender – Turn ourselves over to God and ask for His help
- Soul Searching – Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
- Integrity – Admit to God and another person our wrongs
- Acceptance – We accept our shortcomings
- Humility – We humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings
- Willingness – List the people we have harmed and be willing to make amends
- Forgiveness – Make amends wherever possible
- Maintenance – Continue to take personal inventory and stay out of denial
- Making Contact – Using prayer and meditation to improve
- Service – Bring this message to others
Of course, even though this list vastly simplifies the recipe for sobriety that is AA (you can find the whole recipe book here), you can presume that those who follow these 12 steps to the letter are far more likely to succeed than those who don’t. Other important aspects of this recipe include going to meetings and getting a sponsor. But the faith in God part is tough for some people to swallow and can influence their decision to pursue this option.
AA isn’t a recipe that works for everyone, but it’s helped countless people over nearly a century overcome addiction. And there’s no doubt that this recipe can be used to cook up some serious sobriety.
Recipe Rehab
We’ve all heard of people checking themselves into rehab. Maybe you’ve done this or considered doing this. The rehab industry (yes, that’s what it is) like any other has its fair share of quality organizations alongside piss poor excuses for halfway houses. As a result, rehab is a recipe book rather than a single recipe for sobriety. And as a result, the results vary widely.
For simplicity sake, I’ll take a recipe from one of the most respected rehabilitation programs in existence: The Betty Ford Clinic. They recommend a ten step recipe to stop or reduce drinking:
- Talk with a doctor – withdrawal can be deadly. Seek medical help before quitting cold turkey
- Know your why – what is your top reason for quitting and staying sober?
- Set goals – like getting therapy, going to meetings, and finding health habits and hobbies
- Remove your access to alcohol
- Write it down – I use a sobriety journal for this and I’ve found it incredibly transformative
- Discover your triggers – are these social events, negative emotions, memories, being around certain people?
- Find your support system – meetings, therapists, support groups, sober friends, or a sponsor
- Plan for cravings – do you have someone to call? How can you reduce or remove this craving?
- Discover new hobbies – Finding new ways to spend my time was critical to sobriety
- Reach out to a therapist – Quality rehab programs will have quality therapists, but there are many great addiction therapists that can help you if you’re not ready for rehab or just got out
If you find yourself considering rehab, you’re likely to go through some or all of the ten steps in the sobriety recipe outlined above. Be careful and do your research here as the quality of the recipes in the rehab cookbook varies widely.
The Harvard Medical Sobriety Recipe
Harvard Medical School has some serious brand cache. Leaving Harvard’s recipe for sobriety off this list would be akin to ignoring Gordon Ramsey’s brand new cookbook!
Harvard’s recipe consists of 11 steps. It sits in the Goldilocks’ spot between AA and Betty Ford.
- Put it in writing – This is a common thread
- Set a drinking goal – Set a limit on how much you will drink. For many this will be ZERO.
- Keep a diary of your drinking – For three to four weeks, keep track of every time you have a drink.
- I actually kept a log of my drinking for five months! It begins with Day 0.
- Don’t keep alcohol in your house – This is an obvious no brainer
- Drink slowly – Or drink non-alcoholic substitutes like NA beer and mocktails
- Choose alcohol-free days – Or months. I just finished Dry January. This might be everyday for some.
- Watch for peer pressure – It’s okay to say no!
- Keep busy – Finding new hobbies, exercising, and socializing with sober friends is key
- Ask for support – Another common thread that includes meetings, therapists, etc
- Guard against temptation – If you’re not around temptation you’re less likely to be tempted
- Be persistent – Determination and consistency plus time equals success
Pharmacological Recipes
If you’re like me, you might not like baking your own brownies or making home cooked meals. In that case WebMD has some premade sobriety recipes right out of the Pharma Bakery’s ovens:
- Disulfiram – changes the way your body breaks down alcohol. If you drink while taking it, you get sick. And because you get sick, you’re probably not going to drink as much or at all
- Naltrexone – this drug decouples alcohol from pleasure, so getting drunk just doesn’t feel good
- Acamprosate – eases withdrawal symptoms like insomnia, anxiety, restlessness, etc
- Other Medications – gabapentin and topiramate help people with cravings so they don’t drink or drink less
According to WebMD:
“While some of these medications have been around for decades, fewer than 10% of the people who could benefit from them use them.“
It goes without saying that if popping pills is your thing, popping pills to reduce your alcohol addiction may not be the best idea. But having these premade recipes in our addiction fighting arsenal along with the medical oversight to ensure proper usage, can be a powerful alternative for some. If you’ve heard of the Sinclair Method, you may already be familiar with this sobriety recipe as it employs the decoupling power of Naltrexone to rob drinking of all euphoria and fun. Sinclair Method is one of the only recipes where you keep drinking as you begin the program.
Meditation Recipe For Addiction
I’ve written a ton about meditation in my own sobriety journey on this blog. Not only has daily meditation cured me of my decades long marijuana addiction (read about that here), but I’ve also managed to accomplish something similar to the effects of Naltrexone mentioned above – I no longer derive pleasure from drinking or getting drunk.
I discuss my desire to drink less in my recent Rewiring The Brain For Less Alcohol article.
This was not an easy road for me. It took time, almost 300 days of daily meditation, to get to the point where I could have 1-2 beers and stop. What changed? I just don’t feel the effects of being drunk anymore. It’s become kinda blah. Drunk is no longer an interesting destination.
The fascinating thing about this brain rewiring exercise is that it’s spilling over to sugar and junk food as well. I don’t get the ‘kick’ I used to after eating these foods. So I’m eating them a lot less or hardly at all.
This is precisely what I set out to discover when I began my sobriety journey almost a year ago. It may not be possible for everyone to find the middle way with alcohol, but for me, it’s working.
I believe it’s working because I’m no longer fighting cravings. I’m no longer fighting for control. I feel that if I’m fighting with alcohol, sugar, marijuana or anything else, I’m giving it power. We are wrestling each other for control. By letting my vices go completely, I don’t fight with them anymore. When my vices no longer command my attention, they abdicate their power. And I am free of them.
I’m not the only one who’s found therapeutic benefit in this approach. You can learn more here.
Find Your Sobriety Recipe
Whatever recipe for sobriety you choose to cook up in your kitchen, make sure you go with what tastes best to you. Many people have to try more than one recipe before they find something that works. Others will combine elements of one sobriety recipe with another to create something uniquely suited for them.
It doesn’t matter which recipe(s) you choose to try or ultimately commit to. What matters is your health and wellbeing, your sobriety. There are many resources for both traditional and meditation approaches on this site you may find useful as you embark on your own sobriety journey.
Always remember – you are loved and you are worth it! And if you fall down, that’s okay. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again.
