It’s been quite an interesting past six months since I dedicated myself to daily meditation practice. As I approach 5.5 months without using pot and experience month long stretches without drinking alcohol, I’m grateful for all the ways meditation has positively impacted my life. And while I haven’t completely given up alcohol, I’ve reduced it to a fraction of what it was at the outset of my sobriety journey. These days, I often think about all the things I lost when I gave up pot and alcohol (mostly). And I’ll admit, the list has turned out to be far different than I initially thought. Especially, financially!
Oh, Misguided Me
During those bygone foggy times, whenever the thought of sobriety crossed my mind, I immediately went to all the things I’d lose when I gave up pot and alcohol. As I do more research on the subject, I’ve discovered that this particular thought pattern is quite common. I’ve even had a recovering friend describe his experiencing giving up alcohol as “losing my best friend”.
“When I got sober, I thought giving up (alcohol) was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle. And it turned out to be just the opposite. That’s when the sparkle started for me.”
– Mary Karr
Of course, a best friend is quite a thing to lose. It illustrates the power of the emotional bond addiction creates in those who suffer from it. And on some level, I can relate, though I always considered pot to be a close friend and confidant while alcohol merely played a supporting role.
Yet, during those misguided times, Smokie and Drinkie (as I’ve nicknamed my vices) conspired to spin the list of potential loss in a way that best served their selfish interests. Their list looked something like this:
- Social gatherings would lose their ‘fun’
- My sociability would suffer
- Watching football would become boring
- I’d lose friends (aka my ‘drinking and smoking buddies’)
- I’d become less creative
- I’d lose my identity
- Inspiration would leave me
- Comedies would be less funny
- Life would become less interesting and engaging
- Life might actually start to suck
But I Gained So Much More Than I Lost
Looking at the preceding list of things I might lose when I gave up pot and alcohol now appears to be every bit the lie it always was. This is especially true now. As of the publication of this blog, I haven’t touched pot in 164 days or alcohol in nearly a month. I measure myself as being 97% alcohol free. This equates to my having 2-3 beers once a month on average versus a six pack minimum, five plus nights a week, six months ago. And I haven’t been drunk in at least four months.
While my definition of sobriety differs from the standard view of 100% total abstinence, there’s no doubt my perspective on matter has flipped completely.
Now, instead of seeing what sobriety might rob me of, I am able to appreciate all that I have gained in my pursuit of it. Actually, these days, whenever thoughts of smoking pot or drinking too often or too much enter my mind, I think of how much it will cost me. I think of these costs in terms of lost productivity, brain fog, and physical ailments (such as hangovers, sleep deprivation, gastrointestinal issues, and degraded wellbeing).
The net result of this 180 degree perspective flip is that I’ve remained pot sober for almost six months and continue to increase my alcohol sobriety stretches from just a few days to a month or more. This with a Dry January in the books and a Sober October underway.
“So why does Dry January (or Sober October) seem to have a lasting effect? A month of sobriety, while it can sound daunting, is not so long that it seems impossible. And yet, it is long enough that it provides opportunities to form new habits — like turning down alcohol in social settings, which in the long run can be empowering. And taking a break from alcohol can trigger immediate health benefits, like weight loss, better sleep, and a boost to your mood and energy levels, which can reinforce the new habit.“
– Anahad O’Connor, The Washington Post – December 27, 2022
What Are Things I Lost When I Gave Up Pot and Alcohol?
So with all of that background, we finally arrive at the top 10 things I lost when I gave up pot and alcohol. Now, again, I haven’t given up alcohol entirely because 97% is not 100%, but I have given it up as a near daily or even weekly habit. But I have given up getting drunk since I now stop myself well before I get anywhere close to an inebriated state. Yet I strive to do better and will in 2023 and beyond.
And Here They Are
Still, even considering my not quite perfect record, I’ve still lost a lot! Here’s the list of what I really lost when I gave up pot and alcohol:
- Hangovers – There’s no more alcohol or pot induced hangovers. I haven’t been hungover in many months! 2-3 drinks once a month just doesn’t cause hangovers, I’ve found. And the groggy pot hangovers are a thing of the distant past and nothing I ever want to experience again. Unlike alcohol where a few drinks won’t get you drunk, there’s no such thing (at least for me) of being ‘kinda high.” Thus, I never plan to use marijuana again. For me, it’s too dangerous.
- Insomnia – Gone and gone! Lost but certainly not forgotten. And what a miserable thing to lose and I’m so much better off for it. Alcohol and sleep just don’t mix! Period.
- Not Dreaming – When I was a daily pot smoker, I rarely if ever had dreams. But within a few weeks of pot quitting me, I experienced powerfully intricate and vivid dreams. Not dreaming for so many years robbed me of this wonderful nightly experience.
- Thirty Pounds – This one speaks for itself. The caloric reduction from the beer alone was huge and accounted for the first ten pounds. I’m certain not having the munchies constantly played a significant role as well. Being free of both of these monkeys made my Plant Paradox journey that much more successful.
- Chronic Exhaustion – When I lost the hangovers, insomnia, and lack of dreaming, I also lost my chronic exhaustion.
- Brain Fog – Without pot, hangovers, and chronic exhaustion beating on my brain, brain fog vanished and my memory returned in force!
- Lack of Motivation – And suddenly I became uber motivated and productive. Will wonders never cease?
- Anger & Resentment – Being well rested and in a better mood vanquished both of these nasty emotions, as one might expect.
- Negativity – I’ve simply lost the ability to be negative given all the blessings my sobriety journey has bestowed upon me.
- Broken Relationships – When relationships suffer it’s often from neglect or pent up resentment. When I lost anger, resentment, and negativity, I gained the motivation to reconnect and repair. This is an ongoing process and it is going well creating its own virtuous cycle.
But That’s Not All I Lost When I Gave Up Pot And Alcohol
And finally, I lost my deeply flawed notion that work is bad and that life is hard. The truth is that my addictions and the actions they engendered simply made work and life seem that way. Of course. How would suffering through life hungover, exhausted, and in a chronic state of brain fog induced negativity work out any differently?
There is an unexpected joy in being sober. It’s the complete opposite of what I expected to find here. And this discovery encourages me to go further, particularly with alcohol.
Unlike the cold turkey approach I took with pot, I’ve been weaning myself off of alcohol at a more measure pace. But as my alcohol free stretches continue to grow in duration, I have to ask myself this question:
What do I have to lose by giving it up altogether?
Or rather:
What do I have to gain?
