I have to admit, quite embarrassingly, that during the hundreds of nights we spent in the mountains playing for hours on end, I was binge drinking myself stupid. So much of the creativity and character development came as a result of me drinking beer the entire time. And it worked, because once I was a few beers deep, I completely let go and became a child again myself.
I realized this morning that over the past 34 days I’ve only drank on two occasions. And on only one of those did I come close to what’s considered binge drinking. The second time was the beer, cheese, and chocolate tasting night. And on that night, I was able to reject the urge to continue drinking despite the onset of a mild buzz. I guess I’m alcohol fasting in a way.
A big part of mindfulness training is exploring where thoughts and emotions manifest in your body. So despite not needing anything in this section of the store, rather than avoid it, I made the conscious decision to not only go out of my way to visit the beer aisle, but to be fully present while there.
Dependence and addiction are anchors. They numb us to possibility. And they cause us to fear impermanence and seek escape from it. Alcohol and drug dependence are the realms of regret, loss, and decay. The world closes in around you and suffocates all it envelops.
She proceeded to declare how f*’d up the company is and how incompetent the managers are. She spewed on and on. Negative this and idiots that. I just sat there and listened patiently. It was just sound to me. It wasn’t good or bad, simply noise, like a distressed little bird chirping for help. I felt bad for her. She really seems like she is suffering.