Dependence and addiction are anchors. They numb us to possibility. And they cause us to fear impermanence and seek escape from it. Alcohol and drug dependence are the realms of regret, loss, and decay. The world closes in around you and suffocates all it envelops.
Yes. I actually sat down and calculated that I had made it 99.4% of the way to my goal. If that’s not some sort of crazy alcoholic logic, I don’t know what is. Failure was imminent.
Last night I had a strange and somewhat disturbing experience. While applying rubbing alcohol to a pimple on the back of my neck, for a fleeting instant, I actually considered tasting it. Immediately, my rational mind rode to the rescue and prevented me from going through with it. I mean, shit, I’m not Kitty Dukakis for crying out loud!
Being sober is about more than not drinking or drugging. It’s about creating a new lifestyle for yourself, your friends (old and new), and family. This sober lifestyle will include new activities, hobbies, and social situations. You’ll do more, you’ll learn more, and you’ll live your best life. Sure sobriety is not side effect free, but sobriety’s side effect sure beat the alternative.
I wasn’t 100% sure I was going to be able to make it through last night’s holiday potluck sober. But I was determined to try. My first tactic was to sit down next to John, the only other person in this group who I know doesn’t drink.