This led my to a consideration of card games as a proxy for predetermination. If we consider that the act of shuffling the cards randomizes their order and therefore determines how those cards are dealt and/or later drawn, there is little doubt that shuffling ultimately influences the outcome of the game.
What I soon found was that having to actually write things down brought with it a whole new level of accountability. If I had previously written that I wanted achieve a “Twice Lucky”, and I had thoughts of buying some beer along the way, I suddenly had second thoughts. I didn’t want to face my journal having written one thing and gone and done another. It exposed my habit of lying to myself about my use disorder in technicolor!
With enough practice, we meditate away our brittleness and become like the sapling that bends in the wind as opposed to the old oak that snaps. With the pollution of negativity removed, the flowing of our thoughts pulls us in the direction of our desires. There is no need to persist in our incessant pushing on everything and everyone. Our internal compass is finally pointing to our true north. And we are drawn there.
My inclination to drink beer is diminishing. It is not completely eradicated like marijuana, but the desire to not drink is gaining power over the once ever present desire to drink.