Days 101 to 103 – Staring Into The Eyes Of Temptation
We trade the instant dopamine rush for a lingering feeling of guilt and disappointment that itself is cured by, you guessed it, another instant dopamine rush
We trade the instant dopamine rush for a lingering feeling of guilt and disappointment that itself is cured by, you guessed it, another instant dopamine rush
Since I began my sobriety journey and started to recast my relationship with pot and alcohol, I had no idea, no feeling, of how numb I had become. I had been through the death of my mother-in-law, my father (at the height of Covid) – both from cancer. Like you, I dealt with Covid 19. There was also a crazy hostile work environment going on at the same time. Yet, through it all, I was numb. If I felt anything, it was anger, frustration, exhaustion.
When asked why I didn’t want my usual beer, I blamed my adherence to the Plant Paradox diet. This is not entirely untrue, but, you know, explaining the whole gray area drinking, sober curious thing is, well, not something you do with your ‘drinking buddies’.
In becoming more mindful, your goal is create space so you can more objectively view your thought parade, better understand how it is affecting you physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You are now free to make better decisions having disengaged your autopilot.
I wasn’t 100% sure I was going to be able to make it through last night’s holiday potluck sober. But I was determined to try. My first tactic was to sit down next to John, the only other person in this group who I know doesn’t drink.
“There is neither heaven nor earth,
Only snow,
Falling incessantly”
-Hashin
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