She proceeded to declare how f*’d up the company is and how incompetent the managers are. She spewed on and on. Negative this and idiots that. I just sat there and listened patiently. It was just sound to me. It wasn’t good or bad, simply noise, like a distressed little bird chirping for help. I felt bad for her. She really seems like she is suffering.
I relate this to how meditation caused marijuana to up and leave me around day 35. I wasn’t grasping onto it, I wasn’t pushing it away, it just left of its own accord.
As I’ve written many times before, I haven’t given pot up, but rather offered it up or, more plainly, let it go. Strangely, pot seems to have reciprocated by letting me go in return. Everytime I reflect on this mutual letting go, how pot ‘quit me’, I realize how strange it may sound. But that’s what happened. It feels like a amicable breakup devoid of any emotional attachment for lack of a better analogy.
My wife asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was helping the local wildlife experience a higher state of consciousness. She didn’t get it. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the thought of some rat or other critter stumbling across these delectable cannabis candies.
I find that the more I let go of alcohol and marijuana addiction, the greater the gravity I feel pulling me forward. I feel less anchored in the past or badgered by The Judge.